Ladies, if he
never replies to your texts writes mediocre pose gives you writing tips thinks publishing should be “merit-based” doesn’t “see colour”
He is not your partner. He is a white man from literature.
• expects you to clean the house• is trying to rush you into marriage• dreams of being an actor• has a tattoo of an eye on his ankle• wants the immense fortune left behind by your dead parents he’s not your man. he’s famed conman & murderer count olaf. — viking (@notviking) November 25, 2018
he is not your man. He is Ozymandias, king of kings. Look upon his works, ye mighty, and despair. — Alexandra Erin (@AlexandraErin) November 26, 2018
He’s not your man, he’s the Phantom of the Opera — Tara Sonin (@TalkativeTara) November 25, 2018
– ignores your texts– doesn’t follow you on social media– is delicious– can be sweet– but also so cold He’s not your man, he’s the plums in the icebox you were probably saving. — Basic Literary Woman (@BasicLitWoman) November 24, 2018
– Takes a sudden interest in your younger sister– Joins the militia just for the uniform so he can fuckboi around town-Talks shit about everyone to you– Keeps trying to get you on a vacay to Gretna Green He’s not your man. He’s Jane Austen’s George Wickham. -R — Drunk Austen 🍹📚 (@Drunk_Austen) November 24, 2018 https://twitter.com/JuliaFtacek/status/1066056305553608704?s=20 https://twitter.com/alliembooks/status/1066591209265582080?s=20
-was kicked out of uni-was married before you-set part of his house on fire as a kid -frequently goes missing in the woods and forgets who he is He’s not your man. He’s esteemed atheist poet, Percy Bysshe Shelley — Poppy (@0pxj0) November 24, 2018
– sends you risky/filthy dms– writes stuff that makes no fucking sense– wears fuckboy round specs– wanders the streets of Dublin by night He’s not your man. He’s Irish avant-garde novelist James Joyce — belpo 🌿 (@ragsoflove) November 23, 2018 Here’s one to the library!
– is warm and inviting– is generous– is active in the community– expects you to return his stuff frequently and fines you if you don’t – demands you stay awake at all times He’s not your man. He’s a public library and you should return your books on time. — Alex Halpern (@HalpernAlex) November 25, 2018 And some for the writers out there! https://twitter.com/rachel/status/1066189521941860353?s=20
-doesn’t text back-rarely makes sense-uses the word “just” a lot-is covered in notes that say “fix this later”-has a saggy middle He’s not your man, he’s my first draft. Please send him back. — Karen M. McManus (@writerkmc) November 26, 2018 We can’t leave without some love for books.
– never texts back– doesn’t follow you on social media– can’t go in the water– emotionally tortures you – has a super hard shell He’s not your man. He’s a book, and books are better than men, so happy reading. — Random House (@randomhouse) November 24, 2018
