I have four works below that I have read at various stages of my life starting from being a non-parent, a new parent to a little bit less of a new parent. What am I getting at here? Am I saying that traditional parenting books hold no value, should be done away with? Absolutely not. My intent in sharing my experience is to give you a perspective about the power of fiction to show us glimpses of the truth. My intent is to invite you to tell your story more, to hear other peoples’ stories more, and to look at empathy as a form of continued learning. Imagine yourself as a child forgetting to wear the right attire, having to swap clothes with your uncle to fit the description of what qualifies as the right attire. Imagine your mother, standing, watching you go through this distress, which to you certainly feels uncalled for, turn towards you only to say “you exist too much.” Imagine spending your whole life trying to exist less, blurring your boundaries, never being able to express yourself for the fear of existing too much. When I read this, a feeling of dread crept into my mind. A dread of my daughter remembering the moments when I had had enough. The dread of having emotionally stunted my daughter in some way, who like the protagonist of this book might spend the rest of her life diminishing her existence. There is a power dynamic that is exposed in this novel, between a parent and their child: how when children are younger they need you more, which gives you most of the power, and as they get older, you want them to need you, which leaves all of that power out in the open. This book cracked my skull open with its candid commentary on what it means to be a mother, and what it means to be a daughter. If you happen to be looking for nonfiction books about parenthood, then check out these picks!
